There’s been so many new laws passed across the US (and some other countries world wide as well), that makes it feel like even visiting another area is unsafe. I feel like I can’t go anywhere without feeling like the entire state is out to get me.

@poohbear
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20
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1Y

I’m actually staying put in this increasingly hostile state because I still think, maybe naively, hearts and minds can still be won over, and I’m not going to let the obnoxiously loud minority bully me out of the community I’ve implanted myself into that I now call home. There’s a sizeful amount of us out here doing so.

Granted, I’m speaking from a point of privilege where I have access to out of state inclusive medical care from my employer, and social & financial mobility if things got extremely messy - I totally understand if you need to escape and do what’s best for you, especially rights/medical wise. But I’m taking this privilege, staking my flag in the ground, and being out and proud & show that I’m not going to be deterred.

As someone who moved out of TN, seriously, good for you, and I’m glad to see you being reasonable - I’ve caught so much flak for moving out from other queer people.

DarbyDear
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41Y

That’s both frustrating and appalling. This is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because I can’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the sentiment that “oh the conservative states have made their bed, let them sleep in it” without regard for the members of the queer community who still live there. Sometimes, that’s even followed up with “just move out” when those members are brought up, completely disregarding whether that’s even possible on a financial or emotional level. Every situation is different, and there is no correct answer. The best we can do is support people who are making decisions in good faith, as long as those decisions don’t harm others.

@poohbear
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101Y

I’ve heard the flak you’re talking about with similar discourse here in FL - I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that to what I bet was already a tough decision and/or move. Unfortunately there’s so much judgment in what is already a marginalized community!! But I think everyone should do what feels right for them and what they can do in the current moment - I sincerely hope you are in a much better spot where you are now!

Oh yeah. Seriously, I love New York. Great weather, the people are nicer, my in-laws have no idea where we are…

It kinda sucked moving out of Memphis. We’d lived there for the better part of a decade. I have ties to the tech community there.

@poohbear
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41Y

Between Manhattanites and the upstate weirdos… I’m not sure that’s an upgrade (jk :P)

Yeah, I get missing the place you had roots in; I moved to the States and thought bigger country = bigger opportunities to connect and grow, but it still doesn’t fully replace what you leave behind! But you do what you have to do, and you make the best of it, and ultimately you find make new ties to compliment the old ones :)

Well, that’s why I’m in WNY now, duh :)

I think the most insane thing is that I bought this house without once stepping foot in it before closing day. We had a seriously incredible realtor. We’re hoping to make some friends. At least we have a big kitchen and the dog has a back yard.

@poohbear
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41Y

Oh stop! That house sounds gorgeous and you’re making us all jealous!

Oh it’s fantastic, and I will not stop talking about it. Bedroom, two offices, we have a room downstairs we haven’t even figured out what we’re going to do yet.

And our neighbors are so chill! Ugh. Love Buffalo.

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All forms of queer news and culture. Nonsectarian and non-exclusionary.

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